Easily the 100th attempt at weight loss

Or "just what is keeping me from losing weight?"

Ok, yes I know it's calories in, calories out. I know I'm a complusive overeater. I know that Weight Watchers can work, that Overeaters Anonymous is great for some. I know that this is in some part a lack of self discipline, but it's more than that. The triggers can be so different: bad day? eat! good day? eat! alone? eat, eat, eat! Fiance home from work? What can we have for dinner?! Am I nervous about getting married? Sure, my divorce didn't help my faith in relationships and we both have our issues. Do I dislike my job? Often yes, but not all the time. Do I dislike this house- yup, but a little time organizing could make life so much better.

I am so disgusted with myself.

Today's trigger was that I went to Estelles to look at dresses and found that a strapless taupe gown with fall-colored trim didn't fit in a size 20!!!! So what did I do?

Went to Stop and Shop:
Bought Dr Ian's "Extreme Fat Smash" AND 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's- somewhere in my head I decided that since Dr Ian suggests starting Monday I had better get some of that creme brulee ice cream in now, since after Monday there will be nothing.....

Once home I had a good lunch of tuna on lite english muffin but then had half pint of the creme brulee and half a pint of the chocolate almond nuguat that I convinced myself I had to have. I couldn't say no to the kids selling girl scout cookies outside of the store, so I bought 4 boxes that I thought E would like and then ate 1 whole box of simoas. I had a slice of pizza 4 hours later, drank diet soda and got no exercise today.

Whew, seeing that in print....OMG, what am I doing to myself????

So now I need to decide what I'm going to do differently....
right now I'm going to: turn off the tv, turn off the computer and go clean one area of this mess.